Therapy where you don’t have to explain the basics first

Finding the right therapist is about more than qualifications.

Sometimes it matters to know that the person sitting opposite you understands the context in which your experiences are happening — without you having to spend half the session explaining LGBTQIA+ culture, relationships, identity, sex, community or why something that may look insignificant from the outside actually matters.

I’m Christopher James, a PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor & Psychotherapist based in Newtown, Sydney.

I work with adults across the LGBTIQA+ community, with particular experience working with gay men.

My approach is warm, inclusive and non-judgemental, while remaining grounded in professional psychotherapy training and more than 10 years of clinical experience.

Why LGBTIQA+-affirming therapy can matter

Being LGBTIQA+ is not itself a mental-health problem.

However, sexuality, gender, relationships and belonging do not exist separately from the world around us.

Experiences of stigma, discrimination, rejection, shame or feeling different can influence mental health and relationships. Australian health guidance recognises that higher rates of distress among LGBTIQA+ people are often associated with experiences such as stigma, discrimination and abuse rather than sexuality or gender itself. Healthdirect

You may also simply want to work with a therapist who understands that your life does not necessarily fit conventional assumptions about relationships, family, sex or identity.

Therapy does not need to make your sexuality or gender the problem.

Sometimes it is central to what you want to discuss.

Sometimes it is simply one part of who you are.

Gay men’s mental health

Much of my LGBTIQA+ work is with gay men.

Gay men can experience many of the same difficulties as anyone else - anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, relationship problems and work stress - while also navigating experiences that can be more specific to gay life.

For some people this may include body comparison, sexual confidence, dating apps, loneliness, belonging, shame, family acceptance, ageing, pressure around appearance or sex, experiences within gay social spaces, or uncertainty about what kind of gay life actually feels right for them.

You do not need to conform to a particular version of being gay in therapy.

Part of the work can be figuring out what genuinely fits you.

Relationships, dating and attachment

Relationship difficulties are one of the areas I work with most frequently.

You may be trying to understand:

repeated relationship patterns
betrayal or infidelity
jealousy and reassurance
attachment and fear of abandonment
dating difficulties
boundaries
intimacy
differences around monogamy or openness
sexual compatibility
breakups or separation
whether to stay in a relationship
feeling that you lose yourself in relationships
recurring beliefs that you are “not enough”

I provide this work as individual relationship counselling rather than couples therapy.

This gives you space to explore what is happening for you without needing your partner to attend.

Sex, intimacy and sexual wellbeing

Sex can be an important and positive part of gay and LGBTIQA+ life.

It can also become connected with self-esteem, validation, shame, anxiety, rejection, intimacy or relationship difficulties.

Therapy may provide space to explore concerns around sexual confidence, differing needs, performance anxiety, compulsive patterns, pornography, sexual boundaries, intimacy after betrayal or the relationship between sex and emotional connection.

The aim is not to impose a particular idea of what a healthy sex life should look like.

It is to understand whether the way you are experiencing sex feels chosen, fulfilling and consistent with your own values.

Chemsex and substance-related concerns

For some gay men, alcohol or other drugs can become closely connected with sex, socialising, confidence or belonging.

Chemsex does not mean the same thing for everybody, and I do not approach it from a place of moral judgement.

You may want to explore:

how substances affect decisions or boundaries
whether drug use feels increasingly difficult to control
the connection between substances, sex and validation
shame or regret afterwards
relationship difficulties linked with substance use
whether sex still feels enjoyable without drugs
how you want alcohol or other drugs to fit into your life

Therapy can be a place to examine these patterns honestly without requiring you to adopt a label that does not feel relevant to you.

Where specialist alcohol and other drug treatment is required, additional services may also be appropriate - I am not a drug and alcohol specific counsellor.

Shame, self-esteem and comparison

Many people come to therapy feeling as though some part of themselves is inadequate.

You may find yourself comparing your body, appearance, sexuality, career, relationship status or sexual desirability with other people.

Social media, dating apps and highly visual gay spaces can sometimes intensify these comparisons.

Older experiences may also matter.

Bullying, rejection, hiding your sexuality, family attitudes or previous relationships can gradually shape beliefs such as:

“I’m not enough.”

“Other people are more desirable than me.”

“I have to prove myself.”

“If people really see me, they won’t want me.”

Therapy can help explore where these beliefs came from and whether they still need to define how you see yourself.

ADHD and neurodivergence

I also work extensively with ADHD and neurodivergence-related difficulties.

For LGBTIQA+ adults, neurodivergence may intersect with relationships, identity, social experiences, masking, rejection sensitivity, emotional regulation or feeling different in more than one area of life.

Therapy may involve understanding overwhelm, procrastination, shame, relationships, burnout or adjustment after a later ADHD diagnosis.

Alongside my professional experience, I also bring lived understanding of neurodivergence.

Trauma and EMDR

Some clients come to therapy because particular experiences continue to feel emotionally unresolved.

These might involve bullying, rejection, assault, difficult sexual experiences, relationships, betrayal, discrimination or other events that continue to trigger fear, shame, anger or distress.

Where appropriate, I can incorporate EMDR therapy as part of our work.

EMDR is a structured psychotherapy approach with its strongest evidence base in the treatment of trauma and PTSD.

You do not need to decide whether EMDR is appropriate before contacting me. We can discuss whether it makes sense for what you are experiencing.

Coming out, identity and belonging

Not everyone follows the same journey around sexuality or gender.

You may have known who you were from an early age.

You may have worked it out later.

You may still be questioning.

You may be completely comfortable with your sexuality while struggling with whether you actually feel connected to an LGBTIQA+ community.

You may also find that cultural, family, religious or generational expectations interact with your identity in complicated ways.

There is no requirement in therapy to arrive with the correct label or a finished version of yourself.

Australian health guidance similarly recognises that sexuality and gender identity may be understood at different stages of life and that people should not feel rushed into defining themselves. Healthdirect

Anxiety, depression and emotional wellbeing

You do not need to come to me specifically because of an LGBTIQA+ issue.

Many clients simply want an affirming therapist while working on concerns such as:

anxiety, low mood, grief, stress, burnout, self-esteem, work difficulties, loneliness, emotional regulation or major life changes.

Your sexuality or gender can be part of the context without becoming the focus of every therapy session.

My experience with the LGBTIQA+ community

LGBTIQA+ mental health has formed part of my professional and community work for many years.

Alongside private practice, my previous work has included contributing to LGBTIQA+ mental-health education and community initiatives, including work associated with headspace Campbelltown, where I developed resources and training relating to mental health and the LGBTIQA+ community.

I have also previously volunteered within the gay community and contributed to mental-health awareness initiatives.

These experiences sit alongside my broader clinical work as a PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor & Psychotherapist.

A therapy approach tailored to you

I use an integrative approach rather than applying one type of therapy to everybody.

Depending on what you need, our work may draw upon:

Schema Therapy, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), psychodynamic psychotherapy, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, trauma-informed approaches and EMDR.

The therapy itself should adapt to the person sitting in front of me rather than expecting you to adapt yourself to a rigid model.

I also intentionally see a maximum of four therapy clients per day, with time between sessions, so that sessions do not feel rushed and I can remain fully present with each person.

About Christopher James

I’m Christopher James, a PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor & Psychotherapist and EMDRAA member.

I have more than 10 years’ experience providing psychotherapy and work from a private therapy space in Newtown in Sydney’s Inner West.

My practice includes particular interests in:

LGBTIQA+ and gay men’s mental health, ADHD and neurodivergence, EMDR and trauma, relationship difficulties, anxiety, grief, depression, intimacy, sexual wellbeing and self-esteem.

My style is professional but conversational.

You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what is wrong or exactly what you want to work on.

Often, figuring that out is part of therapy.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to be out to come to therapy?

No.

You decide what you share, with whom and when.

Therapy can be a confidential space to explore sexuality or identity regardless of whether you are out to other people.

Do you only work with gay men?

No.

I work with adults across the LGBTIQA+ community.

However, gay men make up a significant part of my practice, and I have particular professional and lived familiarity with gay men’s mental health and relationships.

Do I have to talk about my sexuality?

No.

If sexuality or gender is relevant to what you want to work on, we can explore it.

If it is not, it does not need to become the focus simply because you are seeing an LGBTIQA+-affirming therapist.

Do you provide couples counselling?

No.

I currently focus on individual psychotherapy.

I do, however, work extensively with individuals experiencing relationship problems, including betrayal, attachment, jealousy, boundaries, intimacy and relationship uncertainty.

Do you work with chemsex?

Yes.

I can work with chemsex and substance-related concerns within psychotherapy. Where substance use is significantly affecting day-to-day functioning or specialist alcohol and other drug treatment is needed, I may recommend additional or specialist support.

Chemsex and substance-related sexual concerns can be discussed openly and without judgement as part of individual therapy.

Where somebody requires specialist alcohol and other drug treatment or medical support, additional services may also be appropriate.

Do you provide ADHD assessments?

No.

I provide ADHD and neurodivergence-informed counselling and psychotherapy rather than diagnostic assessments.

You do not need a formal ADHD diagnosis to work with me.

How much does counselling cost?

Standard individual psychotherapy sessions are $200 for 50 minutes.

Your first individual session includes an additional 15 minutes at no extra cost, giving us more time to understand what has brought you to therapy.

Limited after-hours appointments are $230.

Do I need a GP referral?

No.

You can contact me directly.

SydneyCounsellor.org is a private psychotherapy practice and Medicare rebates are not available.

Looking for a gay or LGBTIQA+-affirming therapist in Sydney?

You are welcome to get in touch for a brief initial conversation to see whether working together might feel like a good fit.

In person: Newtown, Inner West Sydney
Online: Available across Australia
Standard session: $200 / 50 minutes
First session: 65 minutes for the standard $200 fee